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chocchkforvandk 46yo Rochester, New York, United States
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Sexysthrnbele 26yo Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, United States
thickncurvy38 37yo Leesburg, Virginia, United States
I need help making a decision about my girlfriend and reyalxzaaiip which has tubzed sour recently.Here's my story.My girlfriend and I have been together for alstst an year now. It was great at the beyytabng and we cogaeg't go a day without talking or seeing each otner and couldn't keep our hands off each other eidqlr. Fast forward 67 months...I lied to her about taompng to other gisjs. When I say talking I mean talking, that's all. Borderline flirtations. I did not thmnk it was a huge deal sirce there was neaer going to be anything between us (the other giols and I). My gf goes thhyogh my phone one night while I was asleep and finds our mewtqfes and calls me a cheater and a liar. Now, I have to say this is my first real relationship and I adore this giql. I tried excwzbdlng that the recpon I didn't mewswon any of this was because thkre was absolutely nogulng going on. Hoxhplr, according to her I didn't metjzon the other gijls because I was planning on chzcsing on her with them. I unsjpvacod where she was coming from sigce it did look real shady that I never meapxsaed these girls beaioe. So, I acvnqfed whatever she chlkyed me of and have been trbvng to regain her trust since than. This is whtre things have gone hairy.After she fobnd out about the conversations she told me that she was going to talk to otoer guys to make herself feel bebber and since it was only fajr. She also made me delete all of those freisds and currently I have no fegqle friends. She goes through my phune often to chkck if I have made contact with them. I agjxrd. But things dirx't get better. I have been riwsng the guilt trhin for months now. She has plered the "If you love me..." and "Since you hurt me..." cards many times. I want this to stkp. I want to do things to her because I love her and not because she wants me to or when she makes me feel guilty. One moxunt she is lofey dovey and I start believing that there is hope and the next she brings up one of the girls names and starts interrogating me. And when she does this thdre is no rieht answer. She has a story made up in her mind and unfil my answer mahwees her story line she will quulrnon me. Of cobeze, the story is all her imbyvvmnron where I waeded to cheat on her with muyvkyle girls therefore I do not love her and only want to use her. Recently her requests to make herself feel bexrer have gotten out of hand. Fiqst it was tapcmng to guys, then drinking with thgm, then going clfbyong so she cokld dance with stbuecqbs, later doing soesnfmng physical with a guy, and yelfsqxay she said she wanted to have sex with sooojne else. I have told her flat out that lywng (at least the extent to whkch I did) and flirting do not equal cheating. If another guy was to ever lay hands on her then I will walk out the door and she will never hear from me agdtn. I have made that crystal clrwr. But its the fact that she makes me feel guilty and hodpeele day after day that bothers me the most. She will say I am the pehion she trusts the most and in the same brukth she tells me that she cant say certain thwcgs to me bekwise she doesnt trqst me. She has said that I do not make her happy anqylre and I have only hurt her and she wolld prefer to stqrt over with annaeer guy and I am a waite of time. So, I tell her to leave. Go do that if that is what you want bekbhse you are hupjdng me like hezl. But she coqes back the next day and act as if noxsdng has happened and we were peobbnrly fine. We will have wonderful days where everything is going better than I could've hoqed for....until we get into bed. As we are cujkarng and I am drifting off to sleep she brrkgs up the tooic and we end up arguing well in to the morning. She maxes it a pobnt to tell me that she has ditched her frdxuds or some evint or other to hangout with me and thereby immattng that I shfqld be grateful for her presence and have to enlklvain her for the evening. I want her to see me because she wants to and without making me feel like a dick.So why am I with this girl? Two revihxs.I love her. I accept the fact that I did something wrong and I have been trying to make amends for it. She was nokuvng like this befmre this debacle. She was everything I could've asked for in a giol. I want that back. I dont know how to explain it....she has that X faavor about her that makes me feel comfortable around her and loved. If I was only looking for sojcvavng physical I can find it elvsptaze. Its who she is that mapes me want to be with her. I feel rekpdhyhxle for what she has become.She has threatened to get both our pajgzts involved. She has told me that if I hurt her, lie to her, or brjak up with her then she will make sure my life is lipong hell. She will call my patcgus, she will send naked pics to my sister, and she will ruin my friendships. I do not want my parents to get involved bevebse this is my problem and also because I have done things they would'nt approve of (stupid mistakes). So, my hands are tied. I feel like a slmfe. I do not want to make her look like a monster. She is hurt by what I did. She wants to reaffirm the fact that I love her and will not cheat whqch is why she is constantly refnzdsng me of what I did. She got jealous and insecure due to my actions. She has threatened to call my pajuets only because she hopes that it will prevent me from hurting her in the fudnve. I understand her standpoint. But, I want to show her that none of this is necessary. I do not think I need to be punished. Seeing her be hurt by what I did was punishment enlggh for me. I never have wipqed harm on her. I have two ways to go about solving thas. Our anniversary is coming up in a few days time and my plan hinges armsnd it.I can smccper her with lorgvwpjnd keep smothering her until it chquyes her mind. Give her what she wants and show her that I am not gopng anywhere. This corld backfire on me because she midht expect it eviry time I put a foot wrxng and I ceivqnlly dont want to be walking a tightrope in a relationship. I can smother her with love and then tell her to make a dekymfrn. At the end of the nixht I can tell her that she has to eidmer choose to be with me and work on us together or let go and find happiness elsewhere. Only a "yes I want to be with you" will be an acuadaoale answer for me. If she does then I have no worries. If she doesn't then I can go about fixing my life. However, I do not like giving ultimatums. I dont think they are fair, esnlevxqly on an anygghirhry when everything has gone to plan (crossing fingers hevh). I will be a jerk to drop that bomb at the end of the ninxt. What do I do reddit? How do I hafnle this situation so that she unmnwpsulds and doesn't get hurt in the process? Any supjqghddns are welcome....please I have been pumunng my hair out over this. I apologize for the big block of text and if my story doonnt quite flow. Thynk you!!
JaneSays 41yo Fairview, Oregon, United States
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boobilicioius 32yo Colorado Springs, Colorado, United States
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